It’s been awhile since I’ve had the time and inkling to write a post. Life’s been a bit busy — new job, pending move and that engagement thing. And I haven’t been inspired. Inspiration for my posts comes from the most random places and today I was inspired by a new podcast I’ve been listening called Death, Sex and Money — three things people rarely if ever talk about that I am completely fascinated with.
The first three podcasts I listened to were about: growing up poor in NYC; cheating/being cheated on and the complexity of being in love. All things I have some experience with. Each episode made me stop and think as well as reminded me how amazing my life’s journey has been. I am so satisfied with where I am at this moment. Life is firing on all cylinders and I don’t take one bit of it for granted. At the core is George, my newly minted fiance. When I think about why I’m so excited to marry him it’s because so many things I’ve struggled with in previous relationships are so much easier with him. It’s not that I’m a better person — although I hope that I’ve evolved some over the years — but that we are both so good at accepting and loving each other for the sweet, but flawed people we are. He is very loving AND forgiving of my many shortcomings. We are both focused on the important things — being together and loving each other — and not caught up in stuff that doesn’t really matter. Friends have asked me why George and why now. It took me awhile to figure it out and to be able to articulate it. The thing that has changed in me is that instead of viewing everything through the filter of what’s best for me, I see every decision through the lens of what’s best for him and us. I’m third on the list. It may not seem like a big deal, but for me, it has been huge and the main reason for the success of our relationship. AND, it’s been easy. I want to do it and I get constant positive feedback from him about it in many big and little ways.
And now it’s time to think about how we celebrate our relationship with all the people we love — our community. Though we are very early in the wedding planning process, some days it can feel overwhelming. That’s when I need to take a breath and remind myself about what’s more important to me about our wedding day — standing in front of our community, publicly making a legal, spiritual and emotional commitment to each other, and asking that community to support us. The rest is gravy. But have no fear, there will be a kick-ass party. Would you expect anything less?